Thursday, March 1, 2012

I love the sound of breaking glass in the morning...

5:35am:  Alarm goes off.  Time to go running.  Husband doesn't budge.  I go back to sleep.

6:00am:  Husband's alarm goes off.  He wonders why we didn't get up to go running.

6:15am:  The Girl comes in.  "I don't have any pants."  Pants are wet in the washer.

6:20am:  The Hubs clothes in the dryer are also wet.  "Great, now I don't have anything to wear to work."  Well, that didn't seem to bother you when you went to bed without switching your clothes over.  Sorry I forgot to hit start.  My bad.  

6:30am: "MOM!!!! STOP BRUSHING SO HARD!!!!!"  Okay then.  I'm done.  "NO YOU'RE NOT!  FINISH MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!"  Yeah, that always works, right?

6:35am:  Receive email from employee: "Is the server down?  Can't log in for work..."  Great.

6:36am: "Mom, can you iron my shirt?" Is it clean?  "Yes."  Are you sure?  "Yes."

6:37am:  Find food stuck to collar of shirt.  Pick out new shirt for picture day.

6:45am:  "I'm not wearing that shirt for picture day!" Then you should've picked out a clean one yourself. Wear this one.  "NO!!"

6:49am:  Confirmation that databases are offline.  And are not supposed to be.  Fantastic.

6:50am:  While trying to get cup for coffee, am obstructed by shirtless Boy making coffee.  Why are you making coffee?  "Dad said I could."  Try to fetch my cup out of the dishwasher and scoot The Hubs back out of the way while saying Excuse me, hon...  He throws peanut butter covered knife across counter and stalks out of kitchen.  My coffee cup is not even in dishwasher.  Sigh. 

7:00am:  The Boy crying pathetically for some reason.  Tell him to shut it.  He stalks off to room and throws something.  Crash.  Apples don't fall far from trees around here.  Comes back in wide eyed shock: "My window just broke!"

7:05am:  Making lunches.  Harassing The Boy about breaking his window: All this over a shirt??  "No!  I wasn't mad about the shirt.  I was mad because you gave Grace my coffee!!!"  I gave Grace half of your coffee.  "What??  Oh.  I thought you gave it all to her.  Sorry."

7:07am:  Bus alarm goes off, time for Girl to go.  Girl: "MOM!  Cole won't let me have the toothpaste!"

7:09am:  Are you gonna miss the bus, Grace?  "Can you drive me?"  Find your Dad, I need his car keys, he's parked behind me.  

7:10am:  The Girl opens The Boy's bedroom door.  Boy screams: "Get out!!!"  Girl says: "Found him. He's fixing the window."  Get his keys!  "Cole won't let me."

7:13am:  Catch the bus coming back around on its way out, driver stops and picks up Girl.

7:15am:  Finally get coffee.

7:18am:  Is this your picture money on the counter?  Didn't I hand this to you last night and say PUT THIS IN YOUR BACKPACK??  "Sorry, I forgot."

7:20am:  No, you're not putting your hair in a faux hawk for pictures.  

7:25am:  No, you not slicking it down, either.  Can you just look how you normally look?? 

7:30am:  "Bye Mom and Dad, going to the bus!"  Thank God.  I mean, Bye, sweetie, I love you!  Have a great day!!

8:04am:  Work is back up.  Maybe the madness has run its course for the morning.  

8:32am:  Rrrrriiiiiiinnnnng.  Caller ID says it's The Boy's school.  Sigh.  "Hi, Mom.  I forgot my picture money."  Are you KIDDING me?!  "Can you bring it to me?"

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