Friday, October 21, 2011

"Hi, is this Cole's mom?"

Oh, Friday. I'm always glad to see you. Lately, though, you've been bringing with you some not-so-fun phone calls from teachers. I may reconsider my position on Fridays if this doesn't change soon.  

"We're just calling to let you know that Cole got 6 conduct marks this week. He already had a lunch d-hall to serve this week, but he managed to find someone to talk to during lunch, so he's going to have to have a do-over on that one, and he's also going to have to serve an after school detention next week. We can do Monday or Thursday, which do you prefer?" 

Um... Can I choose none of the above? No? Oh, well okay then, I guess Thursday looks great for me.  

Oh, this child of mine.  

Yes, he has Bipolar Disorder. Yes, he has ADHD. Yes, he even has Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  Oh, I did I mention he's gluten, sugar, and milk free, also? Life is not so easy on my poor sweet son. But we work so hard to make sure he has no barriers to success. He takes medication from the doctor, he takes whole food supplements from the BEST chiropractor, his diet is modified to exclude food that is detrimental to him. But still, there's only so much we can do. Clearly.  

So, back to this afternoon...

"He hasn't had a great week, but today's been especially bad. He seemed to have a really hard time controlling himself, he was very fidgety and talkative..."  Etc, etc. Hmmm. Well that's weird. I wonder what he ate?  I know he took his meds, I handed them to him with a glass of water and said, "Take these," so does that mean the meds aren't working? Oh, geez, I really don't want to have to consider upping his--


Here's his medication, right here on the kitchen table. He didn't take it. He sat it down and walked away from it after I handed it to him this morning. What the F@%!?

And yes, since you asked, there was also a stash of candy wrappers in his bedroom. I don't buy candy. It seems, though, that many people think it is their calling to provide candy to the poor and candy-less.  It would just be rude for him to turn it down, right? 

I read this great post the other day by one of my favorite bloggers about assigning positive intent.  Basically, it's about assuming our offspring have good intentions when they screw up, and it's about remembering that we're on the same side, me and these young ones. Cole is not, in fact, the enemy combatant, and his sole purpose in life is not to subvert my every parenting effort.  

Except that at times like this I feel like it is. And this, my friends, is why I drink wine...  One of the reasons.  More to come.

1 comment:

  1. i teach students with disabilities at the high school level, and for a lot of our ASD or students with similar disabilities, it's so hard to get that "assume positive intentions" piece across to everyone. just like the ASD kid can't understand why others act/do what they do, it works both ways. Educate, Advocate, Educate some more!